WHEEE!

Stranger things have happened.

Good things, bad things. A whole lot, basically. And I'm suddenly not inclined to blog anymore. I sat down. Had the urge to broadcast my thoughts onto the WWW..... and when I actually got to it,

NAWWWW! hahahahahahahahahaha!

suckahs!

0.0

My unique brand of randomness and bzzt bzzt shall never be shared in whole with you cretins! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!

Ware! for I have returned! again! hahahahahaha!

She made me implode. I never fully recovered. And. This. Is. Teh. SIDE EFFECT!

(yes teh was purposely spelt teh)


okthxbye.

rah

I

NEED

TO

DANCE!!!

Story

DASS has been updated. yay.

here's a small re-org -slash- highlights section to get y'all in the right stream of things. It can get rather messy inside DASS if you're not familiar with the story. Or me. Actually I doubt any of you will catch much of the drift because the main focus and even the narritive of the story keeps changing.

But the few of you who were around from the start will know that it's a mosh-pit of random, real-life and/or dreamed up events that I feel strongly about. Or used to. Before I encountered the mind-sucking beast known as National Service. Or more specifically, the Guardroom at this particular camp I go to. *grumble*

Anyway, find enclosed a series of links to several posts that are basically the highlights of the story so far. Rather they are the ONLY bits of the story worth reading at this point, the rest are just jibberish, half-fucked drafts, and bits from my previous writings. The latter would be anything before the 5th of May, 2006.

Ah yes, 5th of May. happy days. Sigh. No matter, 8 more years, you know who you are.

It is simply amazing, you know, how I came to be my own person in Poly. I was me. And then came NS. And I was reduced to nothing more then a child again. Shit. Is my identity that fragile? SHIT, DOES ANYONE REMEMBER THE ECTOPLASMICTATTOO???

Hmm, in retrospect, no, not really. I was pretty much intact, with the exception of that one time when I broke. Other than that, I was more or less me. Until, of course, that big mind-fuck that a certain...entity... visited upon me.

Hoo-boy, talk about a mental wipe. But it's all good. Good muse for writing, somewhat. Don't worry, godhood shalt be restored unto me, and I shall regain my powers. Ware, my gaze be cast!


Anyway. story. begin here. don't be distracted by the episode numbers. just something to give a semblence to the chronological...thing.


episode zero-zero

Dancing Assassins: Prologue

episode one

episode two

episode three

episode four-one (the song in question is the opening for 'Over My Head' by The Fray, and Dillian has only recently recovered from his drug addiction, so what he did towards the end is really rather major)

episode four-two

Changey!

I dunno. I find blogging rather bothersome and ultimately inconsequential.

Why should people, and random people at that, be privy to my thoughts? Especially when I seldom am able to sort out the inner workings of my own head.

I work in graphics and emotions. Not words.

And seeing that I seldom, if ever, post anything of substance, aside from my more than occasional whining.

I am not Delirium , but I certainly work in a similar fashion. I am random. I was random, with a definate direction. But I seem to be sedated of late. I seldom have those upward spirals of thought that apexes into a spear of shining light that cuts away the seeds of darkness and sprouts rabbits.

Okay, I just did.

BUT! That was simply contrary to the norm. To explain, I shall Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V:

"Very occasionally she is able, with an effort, to become more controlled in thought and speech, ... This effort, as she says later, causes her pain. "

"Delirium is forced to collect herself so much that her usual mis-matched appearance disappears, and she becomes a very symmetrical creature, reflecting perhaps that in delirium, delight still exists, no matter how painful."

Blogging is one thing, but I'd rather write in a diary. But given yet another choice, I'd rather focus my thoughts, see them materialized in their full glory, and then release them into the wild nether, forgotten. I'd have lived them, you see.

And there we have it. I have lost my train of original thought and I'm now wondering how chocolate in tea would taste like. With rabbits. That sprout from shining spears.

: D

The world makes sense now. And I feel better.

You'll never keep up with me. I can't even keep up with myself.

The only person who ever did pin me down... is gone. And god I loved her I like I never loved anyone else before or since.

Leave me. The king needs his harmonica, and the shaver blades' spinny.

Gettin' Jiggy W'it.

So I had a coupla handfuls of time to myself today. And I used those handfuls to sit down and think.

Well, it was more like a lie-down-to-think, but what the hey, it works out the same.

It's been awhile since that really interesting sms. And interestingly, it's affected me more than I expected it to. It's changed me in ways that I never thought I'd change into. Sure, I've mellowed yet again; dulled again, the already dulled mental edge of mine, and splashed a whole bucketful of snow onto the part of me that holds my passions.

I've...zombiefied. lol. It's like I've been tossed into another body coded entirely differently. And I'm having trouble controling this new manifestation of Spiff.

Ever have I been changing since I found the meaning of passion. But this is the most 'Nua' I've ever been. I'm restless, yet unconfident of myself. Insecurities I once thought quelled are starting to resurface. Humour is no longer as effective in shielding my ego. I have nightmares of secondary school.

Humph. Interesting how greatly individuals can impact the lives of those around them. I'll take it as a learning point... from the other side of the lens.

I've dumbed down ah, actually? I have difficulty articulating my thoughts. I even have trouble identifying my own feelings. But, I still like whining. That much hasn't changed. : D

But if I take it all into perspective, and relax one corner, and chill out. I realise that... It all doesn't matter in the bigger scheme of things. Things will fall into place, as they are wont to do, and the world will glide on by as usual.

So... *shrug* I'm just gonna sit right here and take things as they come. To the donkeys with responsibility! Whatever's been hardwired into me shall stay, but the rest! POPPYCOCK!

With no power, comes no responibilities.

humph.

A certain event recently has really thrown several things into (a good) perspective.

LOL.

Thank you strange person.

Reboot Refresh.

So here we are.

My brain still whizzes around in several directions at once. Though not as fast nor as many as before. It is the curse of the helmet/jockey cap/beret, I tell you.

You put one of those damned things on your head and poof! Out goes your capacity for
coherent thought. Heh. So yes. Where was I?

...

I can't remember.

So. While I try to recall what it was I wanted to whine about, let's rant about something else.

The story I'm working on. Also known as DASS to you old readers. I've been working on it, on and off, for the past 2 years, and I really made lots of headway last year, when I finally learnt how to let the whole fantasy/sci-fi thing uncloud my pretty head. And of course the Ben & Jerry crusades were a lot help in the inspiration department too.

But then along came this thing called the Army, and Enlistment, and other horrible words that were added to our vocab. This lump of...evil, this...THING, that assimilated us, absorbed us into its fold, took away from me the time, and the drive, to continue. (Refer to the... *cough* incident... that happened early during my army life.)

But, Ironicly enough, and probably fortunately enough, it is also the Army that, rebuilt my... 'self'... after making several large cracks. And with this new form, I am now able to do things I never could, although I am still rather emo, should the conditions fall into place.

And so, those of you who knew what happened, those of you who matter. You were the second wave of inspiration, if not the drive. But I never got around to acting on this second wave, I was still a stupid trainee, with little time to write anything other than really long letters. *HINT Hint and a double HINT*

But now that things have settled a whole lot, I got my little crew of misfits, and (relatively) lots of time on my hands, I can now get back to work.

Though still not necessarily driven like before, There is now this... tangible goal, see? And that helps, I guess.

SAF: s'pore very own MMORPG!

And we welcome Pte Bryan into the game!

He has just completed the basic tutorial stage and is now Level 2! What character class will he pick, what skills will he accquire?!? WILL HE EVER REACH LEVEL 6??!!??

nah.

lol. But it IS possible.

It's funny how a great joke ultimately leads to a general state of emo-ness. Tsk.

Here's to the people we thought better of during our Crusades, here's to the high hopes we never knew were false, and on a personal note, here's to she who left... after I lost weight.

Fuck all of you.



In a conga line.